Find My Way Back
by Midnights-AM-Child
Summary: After being separated for almost two years, Rick reunites with Michonne and his children. Fiercely determined to keep the family together, Rick doesn't register a major problem in this desire. Michonne is not his! Open to that changing, the two learn that picking up from where they left off isn't as simple as it sounds.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead

Chapter One: Carl's Birthday

Michonne counted her currency and handed the clerk the amount. It was rare that they deviated from the rations, but three times a year her household splurged: Christmas, Judith's birthday, and Carl's birthday. Michonne knew she would have to do more runs to replace her savings. Although the Safe Zone provided necessities, it costed extra for it to be just the three of them in their house since five was the recommended quantity. She had both a growing boy and girl in her home. Michonne never knew when clothes, books, or medicines were needed. Plus, Judith had allergies and asthma. It was a pricey combination. Carl stopped going school when he was fifteen and currently worked. He worked the fence or the garden depending on the day. Because of this, she wasn't struggling with their expenses as much.

'_You're working too hard, Michonne._' Michonne looked around. It was rare when she heard Rick's voice. His phantom seemed to come less and less. She knew it was good. She'd been separated from Rick Grimes for over a year now. She sometimes wondered if she still remembered what he looked like. Could she really forget those piercing blue eyes or his curly brown hair? She wondered if she was over-embellishing his looks. He seemed to get more handsome with each memory. If he looked like that why didn't they ever hook up? She sighed. She wished she could see him again. She wanted him to know she kept her promise. His children were alive and they were safe. All they were missing was their father.

Michonne looked at her watch and cursed. There was no way she would have Carl's cake done before he got home from work. She still needed to pick Judith up from Tyreese's. She debated not going over. Tyreese probably wouldn't mind much; but, she knew that would be wrong. He had a life of his own, a job, and a girlfriend. Judith was her responsibility. She shifted the groceries in her hand and knocked on Tyreese's door.

"Hey 'Chonne," Tyreese opened the door to invite her in. Judith was sleeping on the floor next to Tyreese's dog. Michonne grimaced. She hated dogs.

Michonne nodded and walked in. "I can't stay long." She noticed Tyreese's girlfriend was there. She was also Noah's mother. The dark caramel woman was older than Tyreese and Michonne, but she looked their age. It was evident by the perfected twist out that she cared both of her appearance and Tyreese. Michonne gave her a smirk. Perhaps she wasn't doing Tyreese any favors by coming over in that moment. She knew the couple like to serenade each other. "I could come back tomorrow. Or in the next ten minutes if you guys are that frisky."

"Girl, get your baby!" Noah's mom said laughing and covering a blush.

Michonne raised a hand in defeat. The other was still carrying groceries. She bent down and gently shook Judith. She opened her sleepy brown eyes. She wanted to keep sleeping. "No Sown, no."

Tyreese felt bad. "I could carry her or the bags, Michonne."

She declined. "No, she won't go to sleep tonight if you do that." Michonne held her hand for Judith. She cried and took it. "Judith, be quiet." She was instantly silent. During their time on the road Michonne instilled the importance of silence in the youngest Grimes. She gave her a piece of candy for listening. "Thank you, Tyreese. Yolanda, I'll see you later."

Michonne walked with Judith, hand in hand. People greeted her, the adults by her name and the children with "Carl's mom". That nickname always made her cringe. She loved Carl like a son, but she didn't know if that was appropriate. She didn't want to replace Lori. She vaguely remembered Lori's image from the picture she got for Carl. She looked at Judith who was pouting, but still silent. She was lucky to have such an attractive woman as her mother.

"Michonne," the dark-skinned mother turned to see the former priest running to her. He was sweating and smelled of soil. He worked in the gardens with Carl. He grabbed Michonne's bags. "Let me help you."

"Hi Gaybee!"

"Well hello Judy. How are you today?"

"Sown mean." Judith pouted.

Gabriel gasped. "I'll tell her to stop being so mean to you."

Judith giggled. "Yay, Gaybee!"

Michonne tried to frown. "Why do you all spoil her so much?"

"She's just so cute, Michonne... Just like her mother."

This time Michonne did frown. "Gabriel..."

Gabriel opened the door for Michonne and watched Judith while she made Carl's cake. She knew what Gabriel was going to ask her. On occasions, she would turn to him for comfort. After a pregnancy scare she stopped completely, but he still had feelings for her. He was great with Judith, Carl didn't mind him. He just wasn't what she was looking for in a partner. He wasn't a Grimes.

**Meanwhile...**

"Hey Grimes, I just saw your mama come from the commissary."

Carl grew interested. He was used to people calling Michonne his mother, he didn't even react anymore. "Oh, what cake did she buy?"

"Chocolate."

"Yes!" Carl was excited. He was supposed to be off already, but he stayed an extra hour to take care of a build up the wall was having. It gave him a boost and he worked a little faster.

"Gabriel also headed to your house."

Carl frowned. "You stalking my family now, Combs?"

"With Miss Michonne looking like she do, you bet I am."

Carl and his coworkers continued to rag on each other even after Carl clocked out. Noah replaced him and Carl went home. He walked fast at first, but thinking about his cake, he soon broke into a sprint. He almost ran into a very pregnant Rosita. He screamed his apologizes and went home. Carl opened the door and was greeted by the sweet smell of his cake and the squeals of his sister.

* * *

><p>Michonne woke up at the crack of dawn and got ready for the run. She washed, kissed Judith, told Carl she'd return in a couple of days, grabbed stale pop-tarts, and left. "Michonne," he was waiting for her. She gave him a hard look. It was too early in the morning and she didn't want to see Gabriel. She was honestly avoiding him. "I have an early shift. I thought I'd walk you to the front gate."<p>

Michonne noticed that there was something in his pocket. "That' all?"

Gabriel gave her a shy grin. "No." Gabriel got on one knee. "I was thinking about all that's happened between us. Us on the road... The baby..."

"There was no baby."

"But there can be. I want there to be, one day. I love you and I want to build a family with you."

"..."

Gabriel grinned in sheer embarrassment. "I'm never sure if silence is good with you."

The alert that signaled new survivors sounded. Michonne used it as her opportunity to flee the situation she was in. "...I have to go."

Gabriel caught Michonne by the wrist. "Michonne," he looked in her dark eyes with his last plea. "Will you at least think about it?"

Michonne nodded and went to join her reconnaissance group.

Michonne never got to see the newcomers. Instead, she joined her group and went scouting. They scowered Caswell County, North Carolina and didn't find much. They set traps and waited to bring the game back to Alexandria. The overall gain was fair. Personally, Michonne found a few posters for Carl and building blocks for Judith. After she got Eugene to sanitize them, she would give them to Judith for her birthday. After a week, they returned with fresh meat and knickknacks.

Michonne went to place Eugene shared with his roommates. Eugene cleaned Michonne's blocks in exchange for one of the posters she was planning on giving to Carl. It didn't take too long for Eugene to sanitize Judith toys. She told him goodbye and left. Purposely skipping Gabriel's home, Michonne went home. Michonne fumbled with her keys before finally deciding to bang on the door for Carl. "I come with booty, Grimes. I need you to open the door!"

Heavy footsteps approached the door. Michonne glared at the door. Gabriel knew better than to be in her house without permission and they were too heavy to be Carl's. She dropped the birthday gifts for the children and grabbed the hilt of her sword. The door opened. Michonne lifted the sword an inch before she let it drop again. It was Rick.

"Rick." She pulled him into a tight hug. Rick wrapped his arms around her waist and put his face in her hair. It seemed like a dream. It had been so long. She was so sure she was imaging this, but she was never able to touch her hallucinations.

Rick was also in disbelief. He had been there for days rekindling with his children. He was gone for so long. Judith was walking, talking and sassy. Carl was a man. He'd missed so much. Carl was eager to tell him about everything he missed, the last of his schooling, his jobs, when they were on the road and became detached from the group. It was painful. Rick wasn't as open when explaining his whereabouts. He'd spent about a third of a year tracking down a man who raped Tara when she went for a bath. They were held by a herd of over five thousand in South Carolina. He didn't lose anybody in his group, but Glenn lost half of his arm, Tara was attacked and they all killed, a lot. The only person he knew would understand was in his arms. He pulled from their embrace so he could stare at her. It had been hell getting to them.

"Thank you for keeping my children safe." He touched her face.

Michonne touched the calloused hand and felt his arm. She traveled to his chest and then touched his face. It was smooth; Carl must have bought his father a razor. Michonne tried to keep the tears from falling. "I'm amazed you're real." Rick showed his confusion. Michonne replayed her words. It must have sounded like she gave up hope. "I would see you, talk to you sometimes." She could no longer hold it in. "I never lost hope that you'd find us. Not one moment."

Rick kissed her forehead and rubbed his hands on her arms. "I'll never leave y'all again."

Michonne wiped her eyes. "You hungry? I've got jerky or oatmeal if you want."

"I'm fine."

"What job do they give you?"

Rick gave her an amused grin. "Isn't it obvious? I'm a constable."

Michonne smiled. "I should have known. Where are you staying?"

Rick's grin grew larger. "I'm staying here."

Michonne's smile slowly started to fade. She was happy to see Rick again. All she wanted was for him to be reunited with his children. However, he was there with her. Her heart was racing and her body was pulsating. The look in his eyes let her know the feeling was mutual. Rick looked at her with a degree of intensity that unnerved her. What had he been through that made his eyes this way? Michonne grew somewhat sad. Her arousal was gone. Rick Grimes was attractive and rugged, but she was looking in the eyes of a man she did not know.

Michonne was sure she was pleased to meet him.

**(A/N) The story was going to start the moment they were separated, but the outline placed them meeting in the thirteenth chapter. Instead there will be flashbacks when relevant. As for Gabriel proposing to Michonne the only thing I will say is that this is paired Rick/Michonne for a reason. Don't forget to review.**

_**Next Chapter: Rick and Michonne think about the day they became separated.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Guest and mtnwknd: Thank you for your review. I hope you continue reading; here's chapter two.**_

Chapter Two: Breakfast

**Coda...**

Michonne looked at the discolored grey fingers coming out of the church. Michonne knew she could take care of them by herself, but she didn't like the idea of leaving Carl and Judith exposed in the woods since her attention and focus would be inside the church. Experience taught her to be alert of other people. Zombies weren't the main problem anymore. Carl had survival skills, but he couldn't handle a small herd on his own especially with Judith. Gabriel was still useless. She had been so preoccupied with Judith that she didn't notice him leave. She would not make that mistake again.

Michonne went to the doors of the church. She stabbed a few walkers trying to get out and shut the doors. She took a finger that was smashed in the doors and wrote a message. _We're in the neighborhood. -Michonne_ "So we are running," Carl said reading her message. She could tell by his tone that he disapproved.

"We can't stay outside, not with Judith, but we aren't leaving this town without your dad."

Gabriel tapped Michonne. She turned to him, but didn't say anything. He could tell she was understandably upset with him. It seemed like everything he did made things worse for them. He didn't want to stay on her bad side. Especially after seeing what she did with Theresa. "There are places close by where we could stay." Michonne placed Judith on her back again and had Gabriel lead the way. Carl had her back. Gabriel led her to a house with a swing set in the backyard. Michonne took Carl with her to search the house. It was empty of walkers and people. Carl went to the kitchen. He opened the cabinets to see most things had been taken. Luckily what remained was baby food. Gabriel became sad. "Their son was two."

Michonne took Judith out of the sling and gave her to Carl. She didn't give the people who used to own the house much thought. Instead, she divided the baby food. She kept two jars for Judith, she was going to share the last with Carl. Gabriel would have to wait until she found them something to eat tomorrow when she checked the church for their group. She knew Rick would camp back there and send a party after them. She wasn't worried.

Michonne still wasn't worried days later when Rick and the rest that went to Atlanta didn't return. Since they were trying to extract Carol and Beth, she knew that they would try to be stealthy. Stealth was time consuming. Atlanta was also overrun. There were probably many unexpected surprises. She wouldn't worry until they were gone past a week. Carl changed Judith's diaper and gave her a bottle of formula. Michonne smiled at them both. Carl was becoming a well-rounded man. One that could defend himself and others, but at the same time nurtured. Michonne thought of Rick; he was that type of man. She couldn't wait to reunite with him. Hopefully they'd find a place for the group to settle down. They needed to find a place or make one. This town, even their setup at the church, was temporary.

The sound of the door nob rattling took Michonne out of her thoughts. She and Carl looked at each other. Michonne grabbed her sword. She waited to hear her name, hoping that it was someone from their group. Instead there was a weak attempt to break down the front door. "The door's locked. I think there's someone in there boss." Somebody slurred.

"Eh. Burn it down anyway. I want to see some lights."

Michonne got up and gathered their supplies. She pointed to the backdoor. Carl placed Judith on his back and checked the back exit. Surprisingly none of the strange men were there. Before he had time to process why, a Molotov broke through the window. Judith screamed and cried.

"You's guys hear that? That a baby?" Someone asked while throwing another bomb inside the house.

"I'll be damned, sounds like it."

Michonne pushed them out of the back of the house and silently went around. She had long ago unsheathed her sword. She didn't know what they wanted, but she wasn't going to lose her group. She was finally around the house, but didn't like what she saw. There were about fifteen people in their group, both men and women. She could smell the alcohol on them from her location. Her odds weren't good. Someone spotted Michonne. He pointed her out to what seemed to be his partner and waved. The couple shooed her away. Michonne looked at him in confusion. She didn't know if they were running her into a trap or truly trying to spare her. It didn't matter. There were too many for her to handle by herself where she was now. She met with Carl and Gabriel and pointed to the woods. Judith was still crying, but the arsonists made no moves to investigate. The roar of their laughter died with each step deeper into the woods.

"Nobody's chasing us." Gabriel realized. "Maybe we should go back. Maybe they're good people."

"No." Michonne decided. "They aren't." Just because they weren't a band of rapist and murderers didn't mean they were humanitarians. Those people didn't give a damn whether they lived or died. They were just looking for fun. There were so many of them. They really needed to find the rest of their group. They were very vulnerable at the moment. Gabriel was still freaking out and asking to turn around. Michonne grew impatient. "It's gone Gabriel."

"Then l-let's go back. Go back to the c-church."

"We're going to meet up with Glenn and Maggie."

"We don't know what's in DC! We-"

"There's no longer anywhere we can hide. You no longer have the luxury to fear. You're going to have to fight." Michonne looked in Gabriel's eyes. "You're going to have to kill." Gabriel nodded, but he was still petrified. Michonne noticed this. She looked at Carl and Judith. Carl was calm and ready. Michonne was going to keep them alive. She was already making plans to sacrifice Gabriel if it became necessary.

**Now...**

Michonne woke up to the smell of breakfast. She was definitely confused. The only type of food she could afford was instant. She could smell eggs and meat. Michonne put on her clothes and jumped out of bed. "You still react to the smallest thangs." Michonne turned around to see Rick sitting on her bed. She looked at him in confusion since Rick Grimes slept on the couch last night. It was her mind again. She was wondering why she was still seeing phantoms when Rick was back in their lives, alive. "Why am I here, Michonne?"

"I don't know."

"You're smarter than that." Rick smiled at her. "I'm back. Rick's back. You don't have to do this anymore."

"Are you really?" Michonne sat next to her hallucination. "You've been out there too long. I've been in here too long. ...I don't think we're in sync anymore."

"God Michonne, I don't think Rick cares that much."

"For now, I know." Michonne turned away. "Once the initial shock wears off, who knows. Rick will be settling into a new life, meet other people. We aren't there anymore. Our lives aren't in each other's hands. Everything we had before, who says it's still there? And if it is, what happens when it fades? Part of me wonders if it was a good idea for us to be housed together."

She turned back to see that the phantom of Rick had disappeared. Michonne knew it was for the best. She shouldn't be talking with it anyway. That needed to be said to Rick. Michonne already knew she wouldn't. Rick had better things to deal with than her insecurity. Michonne left her bedroom and went to the kitchen. Michonne's jaw almost dropped. The table was set. There was fresh fruit, bacon, eggs, grits and juice. Rick was sitting next to Judith. He was talking to her as she fed herself. When he they were separated, she still needed help with that. Now she didn't. Even though Rick hadn't turned, he knew Michonne was behind him. "I made breakfast."

"How'd you get it?" Michonne asked without expression. She knew Rick didn't get this in rations. They received fruit, but not to the point where they could make juice. Meat was dried as jerky and stored. He shouldn't have bacon. She knew he stole it. She was amazed he got such a huge stash without getting caught. Rick gave her a small smile. He knew what she was thinking. He always found himself staring at her. He still couldn't believe he found his family. His gaze was intense. He looked at her eyes, her scars, and her body. He wanted to reach for her. Half of him wanted to hold her and make sure she stayed by his side. The other half of him wanted her underneath him. He wanted to pull her dreads as he pushed himself further into her. He wanted all of her and he wanted it forever. Michonne saw the look in his eyes. She sat down and looked away. "Don't steal no'more. We can't afford you getting caught."

"Don't worry." Rick was no longer looking at her. His gaze seemed to go through her as if he were looking at something else. Rick was ready to kill everyone in the safe zone to prevent that. She got chill down her spine. "We'll never separate again." Michonne said nothing and got a plate of food. She was sitting across from him, but wouldn't look him in the eye. Rick frowned. Michonne seemed on edge since he returned. He didn't understand. "Are you afraid of me?" Michonne didn't answer. "You should know I'd never hurt you."

Michonne looked at him. "I'm not afraid of you, Rick."

Rick leaned back in his seat. "Then are you mad? Are you mad that I left you alone with children while I looked for Carol and Beth?" Michonne was about to open her mouth to deny that, but she found she couldn't. A lot of things happened when they were separated. Many days she did curse Rick Grimes, days when Judith was screaming from hunger or Gabriel had to patch her up after she hurt herself providing for his kids. She wasn't going to lie to him and say she was fine. She still had scars. "I shouldn't have left. I shouldn't have let Glenn and Maggie leave. Most of all, **I** shouldn't have left. When I came back and saw everything burned down... Michonne, everythang I did from that point on was to find you and the kids."

Michonne gave him an accusatory look. "What'd you do?"

Rick didn't answer that. "My kids are alive. The same thangs you did."

A knock on the door gave them an excuse to break the tension. Rick got up and opened to door for Daryl. Michonne stood up and looked at him at him as if he wasn't real. She also hadn't seen him since Rick disappeared. Michonne didn't ask Rick who was alive from the group he took to look for them. They met with the DC group, most of them went to the Safe Zone, but four went with Rick to find his family. Daryl was one of them. He barely aged. His hair was longer now and his stubble was rough. Most of all, she sensed a great sadness from him. Daryl was glad to see Michonne. It was his fear that he wouldn't see her again. Many times he'd search for members of his group. This was the first time he'd found them alive. He spent last night processing this. He reached out and locked Michonne in a tight embrace. After a few seconds he let her go, satisfied that she was alive and well. He went into the kitchen for breakfast and see if the soft noises were really the baby from long ago.

Judith didn't remember Daryl. Seeing a man she didn't know approach her frightened her. "SOWN! ME'SOWN!" She kicked in her seat trying to get away. Michonne went to the kitchen to calm Judith. Michonne was going to apologize to Daryl, but to her amazement, he was delighted. He was happy to see that even Judith adapted to this world. Even in the old world, she shouldn't be open to strangers. He was so proud of her.

Judith stopped crying and clutched to Michonne. Rick offered to hold her, but Judith slapped his hand away. Daryl laughed. "Damn, she really is Lil' Asskicker."

Judith looked at Michonne with a pout. "Bad words, Sown. Bad man."

"No, good man." She looked at Rick. "Good men, Judy. That's your daddy and that's Uncle Daryl."

She looked at them again and hid her face in Michonne's chest. She laughed. Two years ago she probably would have fought her to get to Daryl. "S'okay, Michonne, she'll come when she ready."

"She has a lot of moxie."

"She's Asskicker."

"No!" Judith protested.

The adults laughed. Daryl sat down and made a plate. Michonne noticed that Daryl didn't seem surprised by the spread. She realized he must have helped Rick steal the food. Rick sat next to him and Michonne sat across with Judith still clinging to her. "I got wall and recon."

"I'm scheduled to the wall and recon too."

Rick looks at Daryl and they nod. Rick wished that he had recon duty with Michonne, but he felt better knowing that Daryl was going to be out there with her. Daryl would watch her back just like Daryl protected him. There wasn't a better man. "They assigned me as a constable."

"Figures," Daryl muttered with his mouth full.

"Kind of ironic considering..." Michonne said looking at breakfast.

Rick smirked. "Now I see when Judith gets it. She got her spunk from you."

Michonne covered her face as she blushed. Daryl looked at the two of them. Part of him wondered if they already screwed. Before the separation there was an obvious thing between them, there was just no time. Now that they were together, under the same roof, raising kids, it just seemed like an inevitability. Daryl wouldn't say anything. He was glad to watch it unfold.

**(A/N) I probably should have written past breakfast.**

_**Next Chapter: Carl introduces Rick to his friends. Michonne visits Sasha**_


	3. Chapter 3

**KK: Yeah, it was a journey. I'll bring it up in flashbacks. You're in luck because Rick's reaction is in this chapter.**

**Kam: That was my favorite thing about season four. Michonne becoming a mother figure. When she made it back to them Rick/Michonne/Carl were forever a family in my eyes. Gabriel's reaction to Rick is partially in this chapter.**

**Thank you for reviewing!**

Chapter Three: Friends

Rick was surprised when Carl offered to show him around the Safe Zone. He was very proud of the way his son turned out. He was hardworking, strong, and brave. Everyone who found out that Carl was his son was eager to tell Rick how much he helped their harvests or that he was the first to arrive for his shift at the fence and the last to leave. The praise that had him proudest was that Carl taught some of the children how to defend themselves despite their height. He was surviving and helping others. He remembered that was something he tried to teach to him before they became separated. Carl was becoming an honest man. What more could he want?

In honesty, Rick already knew all the areas of the Safe Zone. Before he and Daryl could sleep, they had to know their surroundings. He knew rotations, population, and everything that was in the armory. He wasn't going to deny Carl though. Carl scarfed down his breakfast and ran to get ready. Rick looked at Michonne who was sitting across from him and smiled.

"Am I dreaming?"

"Want me to pinch you?"

"Nah, 'cause if this is a dream. I don't wanna wake up." Michonne chuckled and went back to her breakfast. "I thought he hated me."

"No, Carl never hated you. Funny thing is he was scared that you hated him." Rick looked at her confusedly. "He was scared you wouldn't come looking for us because of how disrespectful he was to you."

Rick sat back and let that process. The amount of time it took to find them probably validated that insecurity in Carl. He would make sure that he spent more time with his kids. He found that he had a lot more time on his hands now that he wasn't the leader. He was very content being just a father. He wouldn't mind fulfilling the title as husband again. Rick would always love Michonne for what she did for him and his kids. She was perfect by his side. She was the only woman he could tell anything; she was also the only woman he didn't have to tell anything to. They were so in sync that nonverbal communication was second nature. She was still angry, but he knew that would take time to heal.

Michonne started clearing the table. She moved leisurely; he doubted she had work because of it. "What are you gonna do today?"

"I still haven't seen Glenn and Maggie. Tara... It's been a while."

Rick nodded. "They'd like that."

Carl came back, dressed and still excited. "You ready, dad?"

"Yeah, course."

"Good. Michonne, I'm working until dinnertime today." She nodded. The Grimes men left for Carl's tour. "Actually I'll take you to meet my friends first. I have to warn you, Chenelle is a little odd."

"Odd?" Before Rick could ask what he meant by that they were already at her door. Apparently they were next door neighbors. Rick heard the barking of a dog. Rick was surprised. There weren't that many pets since the turn. He knew Tyreese had one, but that made the total numbers of pet dogs he'd seen since the turn two.

A short African-American girl opened the door with a knife in her hand. Rick lowered his eyes. He was instantly ready to shoot. "Hey Carl!" She said with a high pitch. Rick knew immediately that she had a crush on the younger Grimes. The girl looked at Rick with mistrust. "Who is this?"

"This is my dad. Chenelle-dad, dad-Chenelle." Carl gave her a brief introduction. "Hunter here?" She shook her head no. Chenelle's gaze wouldn't leave Rick. She analyzed him, but was too intimidated to meet his eyes. Her dog sensed her nervousness and started growling. "Relax Chenelle. Don't take it to heart dad. She's always been shy around people."

"Meeting you didn't make it any better Carl."

Carl put his arm around Chenelle. "When me, Michonne, Gabriel and Judith were out there we broke into her house."

"...they robbed me a gunpoint." Chenelle started laughing, albeit still nervously. "I thought you were going to blow my brains out Carl!"

"You were cooperative so..." Carl held Chenelle's hand to comfort her. "Smythe was about to attack us. I was going to shoot him, but Chenelle started bawling. She begged us not to hurt him and even promised to leave her house. That's when we knew she was alone."

"My sister was in college in Asheville when this started. Mom and step-dad went to Fayetteville for supplies... ...It's just been me and Smythe."

Rick put his hand on Chenelle's shoulder. "It took a while, but I found Carl. Your folks are probably still out there."

Chenelle threw her arms around Rick. She tore away once she looked at the clock. "I'm late for school! I have to go!"

Chenelle dumped some supplies in a bag and ran out the door. She didn't even bother locking it. There was no need. Her dog followed her everywhere and would alert her if she had an intruder. Carl locked the door for her anyway. He continued his tour of the Safe Zone. This was very satisfying. Rick was spending time with his son. He was also getting to know about some of the people in the Safe Zone. Any information was helpful.

"I think Hunter might be on recon. You'll know him if you've seen him. He played football in high school, but he's not as big as Tyreese. He uses a bow and arrow, not quite like Daryl, but it was enough for me to be comfortable around him when we met. He can use any weapon though. Unlike Chenelle... She never learned to use a gun. She uses bats and knives."

"I'm glad to see you have good friends." Rick nudged him. "I think Chenelle likes you."

"Come on dad. It's not like that. She's like to me what Michonne is to you." Rick was silent. Carl looked at his father. "Wait... You like Michonne?!"

"Can you keep a secret?" Rick asked playfully. Carl nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, I do." Carl's eyes lit up, but then the shine died. "What?" Rick turned around to see what Carl was looking at. Gabriel and Michonne were walking together. They were way too chummy to be friends. Rick swallowed his rage and continued to walk with Carl.

**Meanwhile...**

Michonne was leaving Glenn and Maggie's new place when she ran into Gabriel. He gave her a large smile and waited for her to join him. Michonne didn't try to sneak away like she had done previously. A lot happened since she'd last seen him. She'd missed the simplicity of him. There were no secrets or walls between them. "I just got the day's rations before my shift. Would you like to walk home with me?" Michonne didn't answer directly, but walked with him. "I've never seen you welcome the new neighbors before. You're usually very wary." Gabriel didn't greet new neighbors either. Experiences made him wary of strangers. The first people he met after the turn, Rick's group, slaughtered people in his church. The rest weren't better.

"It was Glenn and Maggie." Gabriel didn't remember those names. The only one he truly remembered from her group was Rick. He was the children's father and a very scary man. He could remember Rick's threat like it was yesterday. Michonne could see he wasn't recollecting. "Rick, everyone's back.

"That's fantastic! I know Carl and Judy are ecstatic."

Michonne held Gabriel's rations while he opened the door. "Yeah, Carl's showing Rick around the Safe Zone."

"I hope he's able to show Rick around before curfew." Gabriel said thinking Rick was housed elsewhere.

Michonne shrugged. "Rick's staying with us."

"What?" Gabriel's happiness faded. Why would Rick stay in their unit. There were only two bedrooms in that house. He didn't want to ask where Rick slept. "Why would Douglass do that? How could he do that?! He's new. You have children!"

"Rick's children." Gabriel felt stupid for that statement. Michonne helped put Gabriel's rations away. She didn't want to think about Rick. They had a lot of unfinished business; there were things between Rick and Michonne unsaid. She needed a distraction. Michonne blocked Gabriel's reach for the cabinet. "I didn't come over here to talk about Rick" Michonne knew Gabriel couldn't resist her. She slid her hands down his pants. He was certainly blessed. She hoped he had a condom. She'd never rely on pulling out again.

Gabriel tensed when he felt Michonne kiss his neck. "Michonne..." He groaned. He hadn't had her pleasure in months. The possibility of being pregnant put that to a screeching halt. As enraptured as he was that Michonne wanted to find comfort in him again, he had to leave. He had to work. Missing work meant no food. Gabriel knew what starving was like from experiences being with Michonne outside the walls. He hated those days and never wanted to miss a meal again. He pulled Michonne's hands out his pants and kissed her quickly. "I have to go to work. Rain check?" Michonne folded her arms before turning her back to Gabriel. She left his unit and headed home. Gabriel buttoned his pants and headed to the gardens. He began to regret making that rain check. As he walked to the gardens he started to remember the chemistry between the ringleader and samurai. Rick would gladly cash his rain check in.

Michonne unlocked the door and saw Rick sitting on the couch with Judith. "Sown!" Michonne sat next to them as Judith gave Michonne her teddy bear to voice.

Rick watched them. It didn't take him long to notice the bear had a deep southern drawl. He couldn't place it even though it sounded familiar. He loved the sound of Judith's laughter. Michonne was a great mom. Andre was truly blessed to have her before he died. He was lucky to have her now. 'Do you have her' he thought to himself? Rick was eerily calm. He didn't want to unleash his anger. Gabriel and Michonne? What sick person could imagine that? Rick was doing everything he could to keep his emotions in check as he asked, "You and Gabriel."

Michonne looked at Rick. She knew what he was asking, somewhat demanding from her. Michonne gave Judith her teddy and matched Rick's gaze. "Yes?"

"Is than someth'en? Or..."

"Yeah. Something."

Rick grunted and didn't say anything to her. He didn't look her way for hours. Michonne let him be. She didn't owe Rick an explanation and he wasn't going to control her life. She didn't understand why he was so mad. His anger was so strong that even Judith noticed it. Michonne took Judith in the kitchen with her as she fixed dinner. Rick followed her. He silently watched as she made dinner. There was an argument brewing. Michonne was pleased that he wasn't going to do it in front of the kids.

Carl returned before curfew and they had dinner. Carl noticed the tension between his father and Michonne. Rick was looking at her almost as if she stole something. "Guys, what's going on?"

"Don't worry about it, Carl." Michonne said, giving Rick a glare of her own. She didn't like that his attitude got Carl's didn't need to be a part of Rick's hissy fit.

"But-"

"Shh!" Michonne said cutting the teen off. Carl was always inquisitive. She didn't want to concern him with their arguments. Michonne continued eating, but didn't stop staring at Rick. She didn't think Rick blinked. "How was your day?"

"It was fine..." Carl felt awkward. He hated what was going on. He hated not knowing more. "I took dad to the wall, garden, and let him meet my friends."

"That's good..."

Carl took one more bite, but his appetite was gone. "I don't know what's going on, but I'm going to take Judy and go to bed early."

"Close your door," Rick grunted.

That was the first thing Rick said in hours. Carl looked at Michonne fearfully. He'd never feared his father before that moment; now he was scared for Michonne. Why did Rick want the door closed? Michonne glared at Rick before following Carl and Judith to their room. Michonne put Judith in her bed and gave Carl access to her portable CD player. She told him not to worry about anything and to make sure his sister got to sleep. She closed their door and wasted no time storming back to Rick. "What was that?" She seethed.

"We have thangs we need to discuss-"

"I don't owe you anything."

"See, that's where you're wrong. You're raising my kids, Michonne. I have a right to know who they're around."

Michonne let out an outraged scoff. "He was obviously good enough for you to leave us with him in Georgia!"

"I know what I did!" Rick threw his hands up. "I know! I'm sorry, Michonne. I made the wrong call."

"It's not your call now!"

"I trust you, Michonne." Rick got closer. "I don't trust him. I've never trusted him."

"You should have just stayed put! Then none of this would have happened. You have no idea what hell we went through to stay alive!"

"I went through hell too!" He growled. "I was out there for for damn near two years. Looking for you! I never stopped looking. **We** never stopped looking!"

"Why couldn't you have just waited!" Michonne asked that question many times. Had Rick just waited one week, they would have had enough firepower to take out those arsonist. Carol and Beth would have probably still been alive for another week.

"I did what was best. For the group! You, you think I wanted to leave my son, my baby, my best friend behind?! I did what was necessary to keep everyone alive. Everyone! I'm not going to apologize to you anymore for leavin' because I had to!"

Michonne rolled her eyes. "'Course you won't."

"I damn sure won't." He got in her face. "My mistake was letting Glenn and Maggie chase after that fucking lie. My mistake was not killin' every single officer in Grady. I was not wrong in going to Atlanta! I was not wrong for leaving you with my kids."

"Fine! Let the past stay in the past. Things are different now. You are not my leader." Rick flinched. "You are not my best friend." She looked at him with disgust only fulled by the anger she felt. "And you are most certainly not my man." Michonne pushed passed him. Rick grabbed her arm. Michonne reached for the sword that wasn't on her back, she pulled from his grip. "Don't you touch me!" Her pointer was almost stabbed Rick's nose. Rick thought about the time when they first met. "Don't you ever-"

Rick pulled her into his chest and kissed her. Michonne pushed him off and gathered her breath. Her dark eyes burrowed into his. His heavy breaths hit her face; Rick still had her pressed against him. She felt good. The strength in her body was countered by the softness of her breasts. She could feel how sculpted he was, built from his time outside civilization. She was still angry with him. She still had unresolved issues with his decision to go to Atlanta and his assertion into her personal life, but she couldn't deny that Rick got under her skin. She wished she could hate him. Rick put his lips back on hers. Michonne kissed him back. She opened her mouth and let his tongue inside. He held the back of her head and pushed their faces closer, devouring her. He'd wanted to taste her for years. Michonne put her hands through his curls and rolled her tongue around his. Michonne felt herself stirring; she wanted him badly. She couldn't help the moans that escaped her throat. She rubbed against his growing hardness, Rick moaned in her mouth and let the hand free from her dreads travel lower. He grabbed her ass and picked her up. He pressed her against the wall. Michonne wrapped her legs around Rick. She was applauding herself that she had the sense to give Carl the portable CD player. She wouldn't be able to explain how she was in this compromising position.

Rick kissed her lips, the outside of her mouth and neck. He let go of her body and ripped the shirt she was wearing down the middle. Rick tried to do the same with her bra, but after failing he settle with lifting it over her head. Her dreads fell down her face and shoulders. Rick sucked her neck and kissed her flesh downward until he reached her nipple. Rick opened his mouth and took it in his mouth. He lapped at the dark ripples until they hardened. Michonne was too restricted to play with him in return; Rick was also feeling too restricted. He wanted all of her and soon. He picked her up by her waist and carried her to bed.

Michonne flipped Rick on his back and started sucking and biting his neck. Rick unbuttoned his pants and rubbed himself against her pants. Michonne knew he wanted to be inside her now. She wanted it too. She'd been curious for years. "Next time, I won't be so rough," Rick announced. She froze, starting to have doubts about this heat fulled tryst. She snapped back to her surroundings when Rick grabbed her throat. Without any gentleness, he forced Michonne on her back and slid his hand in her jeans. Rick glided down her panties into her moistened curls. He stuck a calloused finger into her folds and felt for her clit. She was so wet it didn't cause discomfort.

"Damn it, Rick..." She was in ecstasy already. Rick started sucking her breasts again as he rubbed her clit. The pressure and movement was causing her to twitch. She was surprised both at her submissiveness. She was usually the one to take control. Pleasure shot through her spine. She found herself trying to get on top. Rick made her stay put. Michonne was surprised at the dominance. She didn't like it. She hated that she was dough in his hands. She hated that he had such a command over her body. This also reminded her that neither of them had a condom. "stop..." Michonne said in more of a moan than request. Feeling Rick pull her jeans further down made her gather her wits. "Rick, stop."

Stop wasn't the word Rick was expecting to hear, but there was no doubt that she meant it. He let go of her breast and took his hands of her pants. He hovered above her. He looked at her, trying to read her. Rick was sure he was making her feel good. His manhood was throbbing. He wanted nothing more than to bury himself inside her and fuck her until she could only scream. Michonne pulled up her pants and looked at his penis. Rick wasn't as big as Gabriel, but Michonne could tell he had more skill. Michonne slipped through his arms, turned and went back underneath him. She was on her hands and knees. Her butt was in his face. "God, 'Chonne." He knew what she was about to do. He hadn't had a blow job since Carl was Judith's age. Rick sat back so he could watch.

"This changes nothing." Michonne said, cupping his balls. She put her mouth on the tip when he grew limp. She looked at Rick with disappointment and confusion.

"What'd you say to me?"

Michonne sat up. Her arousal was also gone. "You should go back to the couch."

"Yeah I will." Rick took off his shirt and threw it on the spot he'd occupied.

* * *

><p>"Ain't that a bitch..." Daryl said lighting his Morley.<p>

Rick leaned on the car Daryl was stripping. He didn't give Daryl specific details of last night. "I couldn't even touch her after that."

"Just let her cool off." Daryl didn't know what else to say. He thought Michonne would be as in love as Rick was. Daryl missed the old days. They made a great trio. It seemed natural that now that they were settled, Rick and Michonne would settle together and raise their kids. They were parenting Rick's kids. They lived under the same roof. They had obvious attractions. It was simple to Daryl.

Rick stared into the distance. "I essentially matched them. I should have known."

"You gon' take care of 'em?" Rick always destroyed threats to his family.

"No. It'd just make her hate me more."

**Meanwhile...**

"You didn't have to say that though." Michonne rolled her eyes at Sasha. She didn't spare the details when recounting her fight and rendezvous with Rick. "You have more self control than I do."

"Shoulda stopped it when it started..."

"You like Gabriel that much?"

"...there's something."

Sasha gave her a look of disbelief and judgement. "Enough to turn down Rick Grimes?"

Michonne looked at her friend suspiciously. Why was she emphasis Rick in such a way. "What's wrong with Gabriel?"

"Mph, you really do like him."

"Not as much as Gabriel would like, but not as little as Rick thinks." Michonne leaned on Sasha's wall. "Gabriel proposed to me the other day."

Sasha noticed Michonne wasn't wearing a ring. Even in the turn, it was common for engagements. "Did you say no because of Rick?"

"No. Rick hadn't even arrived when he did that." Michonne started to pry in Sasha's love life. "So Guillermo?"

Sasha frowned. "I just have to face it that all he wants is sex." She sighed. "I put myself out there, I haven't opened myself up since Bob. I wish it was just a lust thing, but all I can see is the good in Guillermo. I hate it." Sasha threw a pillow at Michonne. "I sitting here single and heartbroken and two men are begging to be with you. Rick Grimes at that. I should slap you."

Michonne got quiet. She smirked evilly at Sasha. "Daryl is back. He seems like the forever type."

Sasha grimaced "He'd have to wash his hair before I'd even considered talking to him like that." Michonne laughed.

Michonne thought about her situation. Gabriel was overreaching what they have. Rick was overreaching what they had. She didn't make it any better by messing with them. She needed to continue her celibacy. It was distracting her from what she had to do. She need to answer Gabriel's proposal. She needed to set boundaries with Rick. It was time for her to stop avoiding them.

**(A/N) Size doesn't equal skill and stamina. Trust me! **

**_Next Chapter: Gabriel and Rick talk._**


	4. Chapter 4

**Kam: Actually I thought everyone would think Rick was in the wrong for this one. Michonne was in an actual relationship with Gabriel and the flames haven't died. Despite what Rick thinks, Michonne isn't his wife. She's not his woman period. She literally says it, but Rick kisses her thinking a good dicking would change her mind only to be shocked that she could separate her emotions from sex. What separates Michonne from Lori is definitely time. Rick was in a coma only long enough for the flowers in his vase to die. He was Lori's husband; she was over his "death" and pregnant by another man in a matter of weeks! Rick was gone for almost two years in this story. Him showing up and wanting an instant family with a woman who was never his is arrogant. But... we all let it pass because it's Rick Grimes. ;-) LOL**

**KK: You are 100% correct. They are definitely not ready for that! Gabriel is definitely a security blanket. All they need is time to work on their issues and to find their way back.**

**Just a reader: It did take the Michonne character a while to be expressive, but I took that as her taking time to open up to the group. I have this story focused more on her. I did not realize that Sasha/Daryl was such a popular subship in Richonne. I like it, but what about Daryl/Carol? *crickets* :( There's someone with Sasha I've always wanted to try writing. I won't pair Daryl and/or Sasha heavily until the sequel though. Right now they're just best friends of our couple.**

**vatos: I love your penname. I wonder if you noticed that I made Sasha's love interest from the Vatos episode. Guillermo is fine. They aren't going to stay together though.**

Chapter Four: It's Complicated

After a couple days of being cordial, Rick was starting to match Michonne's state of bother. She was so warm to Carl and Judith, but she was cold to him. They tried to avoid each other, but found it hard in their small housing unit. He hadn't tried to talk to her about what transpired. He didn't regret anything that he did. He honestly wished that it had gone further. He was convinced she'd see how much he loved her if they had. She would see that he could satisfy her in every aspect of their lives; and opening up sexually would allow them to open up about everything else. However, she bluntly told him sex between them would mean nothing. Not even her luscious lips on his dick could rouse him from that blow. The biggest insult to Rick was that she would continue talking to her imagined version of him. When he heard her do this he wanted to shake her, tell her he was right in front of her and make her talk to him without yelling. Instead they just stared at each other until Judith cried. He was surprised she functioned so well seeing things. When he saw Lori he became a shell. It was uncanny that it was the time Michonne came into his life. He owed her everything. If she hadn't come with the formula Judith wouldn't have survived. She empathized with him and told him about Mike. It made him feel less crazy and alone. She was able to bring Carl back from despair. She saved his kids. She saved him.

When Rick started work he and Carl would be working at the same time on Thursdays. He decided to walk with him to get a feel for their routine. Carl always liked when his shift matched someone he knew. It validated his adulthood. It was bittersweet to go to work. He loved what he did and loved being useful, but if life was the way it was he wouldn't have to be an adult. Rick was thinking the same. He was sad that Carl's childhood was over. Many kids his age were also working. A few were even married and starting families. He was glad Carl wasn't going that far, but that was probably his fault. He had to be the man of the house since Rick was gone. Michonne could certainly take care of herself and Judith, but the Grimes's sense of honor was strong. Neither of them were going to let Michonne raise Judith by herself.

"I still think about mom sometimes."

"Yeah, I thank about her too." He gave Carl an unsure grin. "She wouldn't like that you're workin' now."

"What do you think about it?"

Rick thought about how he'd phrase his answer. "Honestly I feel a little guilty. If I was here you wouldn't have had to grow up so fast."

"I don't know dad. I still think I'd want to work."

"Me and Lori always tried to keep your childhood."

"The lego thing?" Carl scoffed. "I noticed. ...I really regret being so mean to her before she died. Now I don't even have her picture. I can still remember that moment, but mostly I keep remembering being disrespectful."

Rick thought about it. He remembered being destroyed about Lori's death, but now he didn't feel anything. It didn't even worry him that he was emotionless about it. Death happened. It was always best not to let it take you. Depression was a death sentence in this world. Randomly, Rick thought about Carl talking back to Michonne. He never saw Carl do it. It made him chuckle. "I don't think you could ever pull that on Michonne."

"No. She snapped me back to reality when I did once. She took off her belt and actually spanked me. Can you believe that?" Carl rubbed his butt still thinking about the sting. "I still love Michonne, but it hurt."

Rick wasn't moved. Even though he and Lori weren't ones for corporal punishment, he realized the apocalypse and Carl having to kill was more damaging than Michonne's discipline. His father and mother would be proud. They were religious Southerners who bragged about their belief of spare the rod, spoil the child. Even though his whippings would never be more than a hand or paddle, he believed in science and chose to raise Carl with alternative punishments. He doubted alternative punishment could work now. Time outs left the children too vulnerable. There was nothing to really take away. Grounding couldn't work because they all had jobs to do. One thing was clear to Rick, Michonne wasn't Carl's friend. She set boundaries and commanded respect. She protected, nurtured, and disciplined. Michonne was now Carl's mother. He hoped Lori's spirit was pleased. "You were shot before. I think it pales in comparison."

"You've never been whipped by Michonne."

Technically he was wrong. Rick was very much whipped. "I better stay on my best behavior then."

"You weren't last night. ...why don't you trust Gabriel?" Rick stopped walking. "I gave the headphones to Judith so she wouldn't hear you two yelling."

"How much did you hear?"

Carl stopped walking and turned to his dad. "The walls aren't that thick. ...Did you hit her?"

"God no! Why would you-"

"All I know is that you two hate each other."

"I don't hate Michonne." Rick shook his head. "It's really complicated."

Carl shrugged. "It seems simple to me. Either let it go or get her to like you. Whatever you tried last night didn't work."

Rick laughed to himself. "No, I suppose it didn't. Even if things don't happen, I'll never leave y'all again."

Carl frowned and continued walking. They were arrived at the gardens when Carl turned to Rick. "Dad, don't make promises you can't keep."

Rick was floored that Carl would tell him that. He wondered if he was really gone so much. He did work long hours as a sheriff before the turn. He also was the leader and went on many force or stealth missions with his group. Lori complained about both. Lastly they were separated for so long. He could see why Carl told him that. It sort of stung that he did.

Rick couldn't wait for the day he could work. He needed to provide for his family, but the people of Alexandria still had to observe him and his group. They still didn't allow them to have weapons. Rick was strapped anyway. He had two knives and a gun. Since he wasn't frisked since the first day he didn't worry that he'd get caught. Maggie and Glenn made weapons the night they arrived. Daryl hid some of them in accessible places for them. They hadn't let the rest of their group know. It had been the five of them for so long that they distrustful even to the others of their group. Daryl didn't even tell Carol. He told Michonne last night that he trusted her. Perhaps that was just talk. He always slept lightly to be alert and he didn't tell her about their weapon's stash. Maybe he would always be this way.

He walked back to see Michonne was awake and doing chores. She taking clothes down from the clothesline and folding them. Judith was close to her playing with a ball. The hazel-eyed toddler accidentally bounced it away from her. Instead of going after as most toddlers would she continued to stay under Michonne until the dark skinned woman got it for her. He smiled. Judith was so smart. She was definitely taught well. He wondered what happened to make that lesson stick.

"She's an amazing mother isn't she?"

Rick didn't even have to look to know who it was. It was Gabriel. He was also watching the familial display in awe. It made Rick disgusted. He continued being cordial and said. "Yes, she is." There was an awkward silence. There was a lot of things unsaid. Michonne and Gabriel were romantically involved, but Rick's arrival put that in jeopardy. Gabriel never was a father figure to Carl or Judith. Carl taught him how to fight. Carl was also the one in charge when Michonne would leave. Most of the time she would come back injured. She pretended she was alright in front of the kids, but when they went to sleep Gabriel would have to tend to Michonne's wounds. The worst was when Michonne was attacked by a pack of wild dogs. Every time Michonne left Gabriel promised himself he'd get stronger; he did, but only enough to protect himself. He wasn't on Michonne's level. He wasn't Rick's level either. Gabriel started to shuffle his feet. He came there for a reason and Rick's patience was very thin. "You have someth'en you want to say to me?"

Gabriel wasn't expecting Rick to be so blunt. He did want to talk to the former sheriff, but there was something about Rick's guarded aura that unnerved him. He swallowed, "I'm going to ask Michonne to marry me. I'd would appreciate it if you would stop looking at her the way that you do."

Rick gave him a look that reminded Gabriel about his brutality. Thoughts to kill ran through Rick's mind. Gabriel was where he wanted to be. Rick should have been the one to see Judith's first words and steps. Rick should have been the one to get them to the Safe Zone. He didn't know exactly what happened when they traveled together, but Gabriel was a little too gutsy for his liking. Rick was burning to cut him down to size. "You should have stayed the same spineless prick I knew before. You would live longer."

Gabriel shook, but kept his hand over his weapon. "Don't threaten me, Rick."

"Don't start someth'en you can't finish." Rick tilted his head. "Do it. Draw."

Gabriel looked at Rick with great mistrust. "You're just looking for an excuse."

"I told you years ago that if you became a threat to my family I'd kill you."

"You're being irrational, I haven't threatened anything. I'm not trying to be Carl or Judith's father. I know my place in their lives. I'm very much aware of Michonne's roll in their lives. I just want to love her and make her happy. Doesn't Michonne's happiness come first?"

Rick just scoffed and headed to his house. Michonne's happiness? Everything in Rick was certain he could make her happy. He would do anything to make it happen, anything other than leave.

* * *

><p>Michonne was grateful for this run. There was a lot of tension in her home. She asked if he's always going to shoo Gabriel away from her. Rick told her that he would, saying if Gabriel was so willing to walk away he didn't deserve the lunches or her. Unfortunately he shot himself in the foot with that move. Michonne was ending thing with Gabriel. Things were too confusing for her. She didn't want a relationship with either of them. Michonne thought the time away on the run would give her clarity. She only felt more confused. Rick and Michonne had been separated longer than they had been together. It would be understandable for there to be no feelings between them. Unfortunately she didn't feel nothing. She felt too much. Everything been them was raw. The anger, the desire, they were both so strong and intimidating. Rick definitely pissed her off. After two years he thought he could just walk in and become her man. She was upset because she knew that Rick still had that mindset. Had she always followed him so blindly? She knew that she had. She was his right hand woman. They were confidants, partners, and connected. Part of her wished that he'd approached her then. They never had time to settle though.<p>

The day was still. There wasn't even wind. The sky was an ominous dark grey and Michonne could smell the oncoming rain. There were almost back to the Safe Zone after a two week excursion. She sped up knowing her group had no choice but to follow her pace. "'Chonne."

Michonne stopped once she heard the gruff call of her name. She turned to see Daryl outside the Safe Zone and on the trail with her. "Why are you outside the Safe Zone?" There was no way they'd let a probationary member outside the walls. She wondered why he sneaked out.

"We was worried."

"He sent you." Michonne did not like that.

"Been tailin' you fo days." She didn't know that. Daryl was definitely quiet. She wondered if she was rusty from being in the walls instead of the road. "You ain't gon make it before the storm."

Michonne ignored him and continued walking. She didn't doubt that he was right, but she wanted to go home. They journeyed together and ignored the sounds of the thunder. They increased their pace with each rumble. As Daryl predicted, the sky seemed to burst into rain. Michonne and her group dashed a mile to the Safe Zone. Together, Michonne and Daryl created a path to keep the group moving forward. The wind began to pick up. Their vision was beginning to blur, but they made it to the outskirts of base. The gates opened. Supplies were rushed into storage and everyone sans guards went to their homes. Daryl and Michonne ran to her unit. Michonne hurried to get her keys. It was cold, wet and the wind was making her dreads slap her neck.

Rick was sitting on the couch with a towel. Michonne wondered how he knew that she'd be back that day. Probably because he sent Daryl. She took the towel and went to her room. She was slightly nervous that drying off with Rick in the room would escalate. Her nipples were hardened to the point where they hurt. Droplets of water rolled down her body the way Rick's hands did weeks ago. She needed to get those drenched clothes off before she got sick.

Michonne peeled the clothes off her body and dried off as much as she could. She wrapped the towel around her head and put on a large shirt and shorts. This was her usual nighttime attire. Michonne realized that Daryl didn't have anything to wear. She knew Rick didn't have anything and Carl's clothes were too small. She took the shirt off and dressed into tighter fitting cotton. She folded the clothes and walked to the couch and placed them on the arm of the chair for Daryl. Rick scanned her body and tried to remind himself why he shouldn't take her on the floor. Carl and Judith were sleeping. Her new attire showed everything. Even though the cloth shorts went past half of her thigh, it accentuated her behind so much it seemed criminal. Rick liked the curve of her back and neck. With her dreads in the towel, Michonne's neck appeared more slender. Maybe if they had a relationship prior the transition would be easy. He would always regret that.

**Later...**

Michonne found that she couldn't sleep. The storm had still and the change in noise disturbed her sleep. She got out of bed and checked on Carl and Judith. They were knocked out. Storms always managed to put Judith to sleep for an odd reason. Carl was probably too tired from work to be bothered with the storm. Michonne finally checked on Rick. To her surprise he was sleeping. Daryl too. This was the first time she'd really seen Rick sleep since he returned. She doubted storms put her to sleep like it did for Judith. She assumed it was because Daryl was near him that he'd allowed himself to actually sleep. Knowing that made Michonne a little jealous.

Rick was no longer sleeping, Daryl neither. Rick sat up and looked in Michonne's direction. His guard lowered when he noticed her. Daryl moved from the floor and nudged Rick. He signaled Michonne's direction. Rick nodded and left the sofa. He walked to Michonne and without any emotion stated, "We need to talk. Talk for real."

Michonne nodded and led him to her room. She let him sit on the bed while she stood at the door. "Are we talking about that night?"

"I, uh, don't think that there's nothing new to say about that. You know how I feel and what I want."

"Yes, loud and clear. I think we should start from scratch. You still have to get used to Alexandria. Maybe Judy can move in the room with me and you stay with Carl in that room."

"Sounds good. I think that could work."

"...I know you're back, but I don't want to leave."

"I don't want you too. You're their mother."

Michonne shook her head. "I'm not. We all pulled our weight out there."

"It was different with you. The way Carl speaks of you. The way Judy looks at you."

"They have a mother Rick. I also wouldn't want to deprive that title from a woman if you remarry."

Rick laughed at the idea. He couldn't see him forming a bond with anyone else like that. He also felt that was hypocritical after what Gabriel told him. "What about you? If you remarry?"

Michonne looked puzzled. She never gave that much thought. Even when Gabriel proposed she never thought of what a yes would entail. "I'm not getting married any time soon. I never gave it thought." Rick smiled. "What?" He only smiled harder. "What?"

"Nothing." Michonne smiled and leaned her head on the door. It surprised her that talking to him had been that easy. They used to talk easily in the past. Maybe underneath it they were the same people from years ago.

**(A/N) I always listen to Not For Long by B.o.B and Trey Songz when I write this song on a loop. The crazy thing is that Finding My Way Back by Jaheim is the song I was listening to when I thought of it.**

_**Next Chapter: When keeping it real goes wrong.**_


	5. Chapter 5

KK: I like your analogy. They won't be able to build anything without trust. Both of them have so little for the other. You're right on the steps they need to take to be together. As for Gabriel (look down)

Chapter Five: When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong

There was a great turnout for the communal meal in the Safe Zone. They were celebrating the end of Rick, Daryl, Tara, Glenn, and Maggie's probational status. They were officially Alexandrians. It surprised Rick's former companions how easily he'd settled into his role of not being the leader. He did. He had no interest in leading Alexandria, but he didn't necessarily step down as a leader. If they looked closer they would see that the Rhees, Daryl, and Tara only needed a signal to take the Safe Zone or kill everyone there. Rick was sitting with Michonne and Carl. Their group was lightly intermingled with other Alexandrians, but not enough for Rick to acknowledge their presence. Rick stared at his former companions: Sasha, Carol, Abraham, Rosita, Eugene, Noah, and Tyrese. The last they'd seen each other hadn't really been on the best terms. Unfortunately, seeing them didn't stir many feeling within him. He spent his thoughts on his immediate family when he was out there. He occasionally thought of the group as a whole, but he never missed them. It was good to see them alive; it meant that he didn't fail them as their leader, but he didn't personally care either.

Michonne looked at Rick and wondered what was on his mind. He was looking at their group, but she couldn't read him. His thoughts and emotions were a mystery to her. Judith patted his shoulder and babbled his name. "Da-dee, da-dee, da-dee"

He turned to her and smiled. She smiled back and handed him a handful of partially eaten, smashed food. He laughed at it. "Thank you Judy."

She gave him a coy smile and buried her face into Michonne's chest. Rick played with the soft brunette hair in the ponytail. He was so grateful to have her back in his life. He knew he wasn't too far gone because he still loved. Perhaps he should make a better effort to blend. It would make things easier for his family. Rick decided to clear the air with his former companions. He could understand if their was bad blood between them.

_Rick could see the smoke from miles away. His heart jumped to his throat. It was gone. The church was nothing, but smoldering beams of wood. Carol held his arm as Daryl went to kick through the embers. There were bodies, but there were a lot more than four. After looking at them critically, Daryl went to Rick and assured Rick, "They ain't there." Even though the bodies were charred beyond recognition he didn't see one belonging to a baby or one of Carl's height. He also didn't see a sword. "They probably went into Gabriel's town."_

_"It's on fire too." Sasha said shaking her head._

_"It's worth a shot."_

_"Yeah, we got to find them." A shiver went through Rick. He signaled for his group to hide as the fire truck from DC barreled through. It stopped in front of the church's sign. Rick watched intensely. It was a little too ironic for a fire truck to appear after everything had burned down. He stopped hiding once he saw Glenn and Maggie._

_"What happened?"_

_Daryl got Rick's attention, "I'ma g'on 'head."_

_Rick nodded. Maggie was honestly the last person either of them wanted to see. She didn't know about Beth. He knew she was asking what happened to the church, but he was too curious to why they were back to answer right away. "I was going to ask you the same thing."_

_"He lied... There's no cure." __Rick nodded. He should have known there was no cure. If Jenner couldn't do it, how could Eugene? Rick thought Eugene was saying a lot of nothing, but Abraham seemed so determined. Rick mainly went with it because of Abraham's ferocity. That fervor made him think there was a shot. Now he had less hope than before. "Rick?"_

_Glenn went beside his wife. "Where's Michonne?"_

_"I don't know..."_

_After looking throughout the town and splitting up to look at the surrounding areas, they regrouped in an abandoned house in the town west of where they last met. Rick walked in to an empty room and left himself to his thoughts. Maggie was in the room next to him. He could hear her heart-wrenching sobs. What if he was like her? What if he sees the body of his children and partner? He'd been lucky many times finding his family as many times as he did. Maybe his luck finally ran out._

_He couldn't help, but think about Beth shot in front of him, her limp body falling and all the blood. He replayed it over until his mind played a cruel trick on him and replaced Beth with Carl. Rick's heart started racing. He felt warm as anxiety began to overtake him. __Rick fell on the floor and gasped for air._

_"Rick, you okay in there?" He didn't answer. "Rick?"_

_He wasn't sure when the door opened. He wasn't even together when Tyreese and Sasha picked him up from the bathroom floor. He did notice when he woke up on the couch. He was across from the smallest bedroom. He could hear Rosita's voice. She was talking to Eugene. Rick had no idea the fraud had woken up. Part of him hoped Eugene would have died from the beating._

_"You know when we were out there. I used some of the stuff you taught me. ...It was really useful."_

_"Duly noted."_

_"What you did, I get it. We've all done things. I think the group understands too." Rosita thought about Abraham. "Abraham may need more time though."_

_"Where are we going to go now?"_

_"Richmond. Noah's town. They have walls. We'll settle down now."_

_"And Noah is...?"_

_"We're not going anywhere," Rick grunted. He pushed himself up and stumbled to the doorway of the small bedroom. "Michonne and Carl, are still out there. Not until we find them."_

_"We've been searching for days now! They could be anywhere." Rosita complained._

_Rick glared at them both. Rosita and Eugene were still outsiders to him. Even Terminus wasn't enough to match the bond he felt with the others. "Don't you ever say another thing about them. If it wasn't for that goddamn lie, we would have been together."_

_Hearing the discord, Glenn, Tyreese and Carol went to them. Glenn tried to calm Rick. "I understand your rage. Beth-"_

_"You should have stayed put like I said." He didn't want to hear Glenn relate his pain to his. He just lost his sister in-law; he didn't want to equate his family with any type of death. He wished he could have saved Beth. He wished he would have just killed Dawn's group instead of the trade. He was going to do that, but Daryl and Tyreese convinced him of a trade. Rick got mad at Tyreese. Why did he listen to him and Daryl? He glared at Tyreese. "We should have done a lot of things like i said."_

_Tyreese frowned at Rick. "There were good people back there."_

_Rick nodded, "Yeah, they were good people, but I would trade all of them for our own." Rick pushed passed them. "We go nowhere."_

Rick remembered that after he cooled off he told them that they should split up. He didn't like the things he said to them. It reminded him of his days as their dictator. He wanted a group who would follow him willingly. Loyalty would mean more now that he wanted to look for Michonne and the kids. He knew the group would split for life at that moment. It didn't surprise him when Tyreese and Sasha went for Alexandria; Tyreese was always looking for a way out. Sasha went because Tyreese was her family. Rick knew she would have stayed otherwise. She had adapted. She was what he needed in an ally. Noah argued to stay at first, wanting to help the man who helped him, but he was injured and getting him home was Beth's dream. Carol also wanted to go with Rick, but she was still healing. There was no way their search would help her heal all of her internal injuries. The constant movement would have her in constant pain. Abraham's group went to Alexandria too. Abraham and Rick would be in constant battle for supremacy. Eugene also needed walls. He was too much of a novice to survive alone. Rosita just wanted to be safe. Abraham made it his mission to see that they made it to Alexandria.

Daryl, Maggie, Tara, and Glenn went with Rick. There was no surprises when Daryl stayed with Rick. Daryl would follow Rick into hell so there was no question that he would help him look for his family. The Rhees joined. Maggie and Glenn felt like they owed it to Rick since he lost his family to find theirs. Tara would follow Glenn wherever. It surprised Rick how close he'd gotten with her. He'd even killed his brother for her. It was the reason why they went Alexandria. Tara had gotten hurt and he knew that she deserved better; they all did. The five of them became an unstoppable unit. They seemed to harden with each day that passed. After so long he knew he had to give them more. They needed lives.

Thinking about his bond with his small unit made him realize the same must have happened with Michonne, Carl, Judith, and Gabriel. He could also see that it happened with the girl, Chenelle. They each had stored food from the feast. Judith was chatting away with Gabriel. The Labrador, Smythe, followed Chenelle closely. Michonne seemed to tense; Rick wondered if she was afraid of dogs. Rick wasn't worried about Gabriel coming home with them. He doubted the priest would try to pull any proposal nonsense with him there. Hopefully Gabriel had more sense than that.

Gabriel cleared his throat. "I have a bottle of liquor I've been saving for a special occasion."

"Aww, that's sweet of you! That's a great way to welcome Carl's dad back," Chenelle thought while petting her dog.

"Actually, it's more about new beginnings in general." Rick soon realized Gabriel didn't have any sense at all.

Gabriel revealed the bottle and started to pour drinks. Rick took the cup and gave Gabriel a cold stare. "Do you remember the last time we drank?"

"I do."

"Nothing's changed." Rick said.

While they were drinking, everyone, but Chenelle noticed the hostility between the two. Michonne and Carl stopped partaking, knowing that the situation may change suddenly. Rick drank slowly for the same reason. Chenelle and Gabriel had most of the alcohol. Chenelle took a glass and looked at the sweet smelling liquid. She was drunk and more loquacious than usual. "All of us under one roof again... With Mr. Grimes it's even better." The adults looked at each other. Chenelle drank her rum. "You know, it's kind of crazy. It just makes no sense to me. Why didn't we all just stay in the same house?"

Michonne knew Rick was cringing. When the probationary moment passed for them, she didn't want to stay with Gabriel because of their pregnancy scare. She didn't want to stay with Chenelle because of Smythe. She also didn't want Chenelle and Carl to be around each other when their hormones kicked in. To take tension away, she gave Chenelle the semi-honest answer. "I wanted to prevent teenage pregnancy."

That was enough of a distraction. Carl was bright red and Chenelle choked on her drink. "Gross!"

"Michonne, ew!"

"I wouldn't! She's my friend."

Chenelle took that the wrong way. Unable to control her tears because of her inebriated state, she went to Carl and Judith's bedroom to cry. Carl watched her leave and followed after her.

Gabriel was also drunk. Chenelle and Carl's departure made him more emboldened to do what he wanted. There was a question that had been on his mind since Rick arrived, "When are you going to move out?"

Everyone stopped. Even Judith was quiet. She was playing with her bear away from them, but she sensed the moment and looked at Michonne. Rick looked at him and placed the glass of rum down. "You don't want to do this."

"Gabriel." Michonne tried to warn him.

"I respect you. I really do, but I don't think it's right for you to be manipulating her relationship with the kids to get to her."

Michonne didn't like anyone speaking for her. She was her own woman. "I'm right here, don't speak for me. Nobody makes me do anything I don't want to do."

Rick smirked. "Certainly don't. ... So when you had your legs around me, a while ago, your decision was made."

Michonne glared at him. "Screw you, Rick."

SMACK!

There was another mass silence in the Grimes unit. Michonne's eyes widened. She couldn't believe this had happened. Gabriel's fist was still clenched as Rick's face began to bruise. It was a strong fluid punch, but since Rick was still conscious, a big mistake on Gabriel's part. Michonne could see the humanity escape Rick's eyes. It was a sobering moment. Gabriel knew even before the rum bottle collided across his temple that he had made a terrible decision. Gabriel saw stars; he stumbled to the floor. Rick was on him before he could get up. Gabriel headbutted Rick, who slammed Gabriel's head back and pressed the bottle against his throat. The Labrador barked and ran to alert Chenelle.

Judith screamed, "Da-dee, no! Da-dee, no!" Her screams did nothing. Carl and Chenelle rushed to the scene. Gabriel was still struggling. Rick's blue eyes pierced into Gabriel's. He had a habit of watching the light fade from his enemies' eyes. "No da-dee, no hurt Gaybee! Please da-dee, nooo!" Michonne picked up Judith and placed her into Chenelle's arms. Carl had his gun on his waist unsure what to do. Michonne got her sword. A line of drool fell from Gabriel's mouth. His eyes began to bulge and lose sight.

Michonne unsheathed her sword and put the blunt end on Rick's neck. Rick stopped. "You gonna do it?"

"You need to stop."

"You know what happened to the last person who threatened me?"

"Rick, let Gabriel go."

No having an option, Rick dropped the bottle and let Gabriel live. Gabriel gasped for air and began coughing. His throat was in throbbing in pain. Rick got up slowly and Michonne sheathed her sword. Gabriel scampered away from Rick, refusing to look at him. Rick felt the same, but for the opposite reason. He couldn't believe he'd let Gabriel live. It was irritating him; to get away from the urge he walked to Michonne's bedroom. He noticed that he didn't see or hear Judith and Chenelle. He realized they were hiding, hiding from him. Rick slammed the door behind him and started pacing. The defense wounds from Gabriel on his arms and neck began to itch. He knew it was psychological instead of something he felt physically. His adrenaline was too high for him to feel those cuts. His thoughts were on one track: kill Gabriel, kill Gabriel. What if Gabriel tried to attack him again, but this time with a weapon? Leaving people who attack alive always ended badly. Rick made no exceptions to that rule.

When Michonne went to her room she saw Rick sitting on the end of her bed. His leg was bouncing and he was staring into another world. Michonne sat next to him and didn't say anything. She didn't think he noticed her presence, but after almost twenty minutes of silence Rick said, "I wasn't going to do anything to him, Michonne."

"I know."

"He attacked me."

"I know."

"I'm not going to let him live. I'm not going to let him threaten this."

"You're going to have to. You'll be excommunicated if you kill him."

Rick's face twisted in disgust. "This man comes in my house, my house, and-"

She touched his arm. "Let it go. We need you here. It's not worth it."

Rick heard what she was saying, but it wasn't really sinking in. "Would you follow me again? If I got kicked out, would you follow me?"

"...no."

Rick shook her hand off his arm. He looked at her, eyes still foreign. "What happened to you? Don't you remember the days when you were by my side? Don't you miss that?!"

"I miss it. But I'm not going to follow you back into hell. Not with a baby. Christ! She's not even potty trained and you're thinking we'd go back out there? You need to stay here. Just stay! ...I'll take care of Gabriel."

Rick turned to her and gauged her demeanor. He could see her seriousness. He wasn't sure what she was planning, but he'd let her handle it, for now.

* * *

><p>Michonne woke up to see a very awake Rick next to her. She'd let him sleep next to her that night. She could tell Rick still wasn't at peace with her, but she understood. Rick let what he saw as a threat walk away. He probably wouldn't rest until Gabriel was dead. She wasn't naive enough to think that Rick was going to let Gabriel go. Michonne got up and began to start her day. She could hear the patter of Smythe's paws and knew Chenelle stayed the night. Michonne didn't fix breakfast. She just washed and went to Gabriel's unit.<p>

Gabriel checked the door and answered once he saw it was Michonne; and saw she was alone. She walked inside and looked at Gabriel. He had a large knot on the side of his head. She could also see the bruise around his neck. She frowned. She didn't know why Gabriel made such a dumb decision. Gabriel was ashamed. He set out to protect Michonne's honor and assert himself as a man. He almost died. He knew Rick was only looking for an excuse and he'd given him one. He couldn't believe this went down especially in front of Judith. He also wished it didn't happen in front of Michonne. The look she was giving him made him wish Rick succeeded with killing him. He would never forget the look on Rick's face. It was terrifying. It was as if he were peering into his soul.

"I'm going to report Rick."

Michonne shrugged. "You can if you want, but it was your fault for swinging first."

Gabriel frowned. Raspy, he asked, "Why are you taking his side?"

"Because you started this. You're lucky Rick didn't kill you. He going to try to finish the job, Gabriel."

"I'll kill him before he kills me."

"Bullshit"

"You've seen me kill Michonne. I-"

"Would die. Rick has been out there longer. He also has more experience and resourceful. You can't win this." Michonne touched his cheek. "I want you to live."

"..."

"Ezekiel's Kingdom is east. You need to go and cover your tracks so Daryl can't find you. It might even be best if you change your name."

"..."

"I'll visit you in a month or so. I promise."

"Don't bother." Gabriel got up and gathered things for his escape. He looked at Michonne with eyes of regret and turned from her in anger. "I'll make the decision for you. Bye Michonne."

Michonne stood there trying to process everything. Gabriel was gone. It was for his safety. She knew that he was strong enough to make it to the Kingdom. He had to harden outside the walls. He would make it there and start a new life. Unfortunately, he didn't want her to have anything to do with this new life. She didn't know that this would make her heart break. She stood there and fought tears tears of hurt.

**(A/N) I watched the premiere. I loved it. It was beautiful, but I have to say I was butthurt when I saw the scenes for 2/15/2015's episode. It looks like the group are going to be confronted by a pack of wild dogs. The reason I'm butthurt is because since the first chapter I was building up this flashback scene where Michonne is searching for baby aspirin and is attacked by a pack of undomesticated dogs. She kills them, brings one back for dinner, but she gets torn apart in the process only for Gabriel to nurse her back to full badassery. He set her arm, sowed her wounds, and provided while she was recovering. That's why she reacts to Tyreese's dog and Smythe negatively. Sad face.**

_**Next Chapter: Family has many definitions.**_


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